"7. Focus on solutions, instead of
arguing on and on.
Just like in your own personal life,
getting stuck in thinking too much about whys and what ifs can be quite
destructive. Such thoughts going around in circles rarely leads to much except making
issues bigger and scarier than they actually are and to feeling paralyzed or
unnecessarily angry or irritated.
So be assertive instead. If there is
an issue then communicate what the two of you are thinking instead of assuming
or trying to mindread each other.
Find understanding by truly
listening to what you hear and by trying to see things from the other person’s
viewpoint by asking yourself:
How would I see this situation we
are in if I were in his or her shoes?
Then focus on solutions together. Yes,
one of you – or the both of you – may have made a mistake but it has already
been done and you don’t have a time-machine. So don’t focus on replaying it in
your mind over and over or on arguing about it for too long.
Try to move on to focusing on finding
and taking action on a solution together. Instead of getting stuck in inaction
on separate flanks.
Ask yourselves:
- How can we solve this?
- What is one small and practical step we can take today to move forward with this solution?
Focus on what WE can do. Instead of
focusing all your energy and thoughts on ME vs YOU and turning a beginning
conflict into a fight that benefits no-one really.
It will help both you and the other
person and your relationship."
Readers, I hope you have enjoyed the wisdom of The Positivity Blog writer Henrik Edberg. For more writing by Henrik, check out The Positivity blog at http://www.positivityblog.com/
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