How caregivers can better deal with caregivers' stresses Part 6

6.  As a caregiver, put yourself high on the priorities list.  Serious illness affects the entire family, not just the individual needing care.  Caregiver organizations are quick to point out that caregiving causes stress and caregivers need to take care of themselves.  

The American Heart Association gives this advice to caregivers:  “Pace yourself.  This is a marathon, not a sprint.  Seek sustenance and help along the way.”  http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/Caregiver/RealityCheck/BeRealisticThinkPositive/Be-Realistic-Think-Positive_UCM_301771_Article.jsp#.TxtJBvkqjC8   Every caregiver needs to consider himself and his needs so he doesn’t become stressed out, worn out and burned out.   

Information and support groups can be found at reputable caregiver’s organizations such as the National Family Caregivers Association at http://www.nfcacares.org and the Family Caregiver Alliance at www.caregiver.org  Organizations such as the Alzheimer’s Association at http://alz.org, the American Cancer Society at http://cancer.org and American Heart Association at http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/ also provide valuable, reliable information and support for families dealing with those illnesses. 

How caregivers can better deal with caregivers' stresses Part 5

5.  What resources and help can you get?  Do you need to hire help/utilize your helpful, willing volunteers? Can meals be delivered by Meals on Wheels/Senior Citizen’s programs?  Have you heard of 211 network?  

The 211 Network is an American resource center which provides information.  The 211 network is available 24/7 and provides free information to the caller.  The 211 network is a grassroots effort, usually funded by the United Way or other service agency.  The 211 network is accredited nationally by the Alliance of Information and Referral Systems who determines the standards by which a 211 network operates.  The 211 network can be accessed by calling 2-1-1 or on-line at http://www.211.org/.  By entering a zip code and/or city, you can access services/resources which are available to caregivers.

A second resource that caregivers can access is an Area Agency of Aging at   http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare.NET/Public/Index.aspx or 1-800-677-1116. 

How caregivers can better deal with caregivers' stresses Part 4

4.  Recognize that no one can do it (caregiving) alone.  How many family members and close friends can contribute to caregiving?  Can tasks and responsibilities be divided among family members?  The primary caregiver can make a list of needed help and supportive family and friends can pick their chores.  

For example, daughter who lives close to Dad may be the person who checks on Dad every day.  Another daughter volunteers to clean house and bring fresh cooked meals every Saturday.  Daughter who lives 1000 miles away flies in several times a year to help out and relieve her sisters for respite breaks.  A grandson takes over the yard work.  This family hires a neighbor lady/certified home health aide to check on their dad periodically throughout the day while the daughters are working.  By working together, this family honors their dad’s wishes and supports each other. 

How caregivers can better deal with caregiver's stresses Part 2

2.  Caregivers should learn about their loved one’s diagnosis.  Psychologist Dr Barry Jacobs says it well in his book, The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers:  “not having basic knowledge about the patient’s illness is like driving some pitch-black country road without headlights and being jolted by every dip and thrown by every curve.  Without understanding the rigors of the terrain, you’re hard-pressed to prepare yourself for the ride or even judge whether you’re up to the journey.  It’s reckless.”  [Jacobs, Barry J, The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers, (New York:  Guilford Press, 2006), 39.] 

Two of my family members have recently been diagnosed with heart disease.  What does a diagnosis of congestive heart failure mean?  How can my loved one best take care of his health?  Where should my family go for information?  First, his doctor will give pertinent information which my family needs.  Second, my family can get information and understanding from reputable websites like American Heart Association at http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/ Mayo Clinic at http://www.mayoclinic.com/ or WebMD at http://www.webmd.com/.  Use reputable organizations for accurate information and support groups. 

How caregivers can better deal with caregiver's stresses Part 1

We’ve all seen it.  Mr. H lovingly cared for his wife for the last several years.  He seemed so healthy until the day he had a heart attack and died.  Everyone scratched their heads and wondered why he died so suddenly.  Researchers have found that the stress of caregiving can make people sick and even shorten their lives:  Surprisingly, a few simple things can make a difference.   

1.  Recognize that you are caregiving.  Researchers have shown that caregivers who recognize they are caregiving fare better.  “Are you providing unpaid assistance to a spouse, relative, or friend who is ill, disabled, or needs help with basic activities of daily living? Do you help with rides to the doctor, shopping, meals, bill paying, bathing, grooming, dressing, walking or transferring to a wheelchair, housekeeping, managing medications, or arranging services to be provided by others? If you provide services like these, whether or not you live with the person you are helping, you are a caregiver.”  Agency of Aging, Pasco-Pinellas County Florida,  http://www.agingcarefl.org/caregiver/caregiver  More information tomorrow.

Benefits and Risks of Caregiving

“Caregiving can be a gift in disguise—an experience that moves you toward a more meaningful connection with yourself and with others.”  [Goldman, Connie, The Gifts of Caregiving, Minneapolis:  Fairview Press, 2002), 7.] Many caregivers find satisfaction in caring for their elders who loved and nurtured them in earlier times; it’s a time of pay back to the precious Mother who wiped your nose, dried your tears and guided you into the adult you are today.  

The risks of caregiving

Caregiving puts additional stresses into life for caregivers.  As their days become too busy with caring for Mom, many caregivers postpone their own medical care.  In fact, 72% of caregivers report not seeing their doctor as often as they should.  63% of caregivers admit their eating habits aren’t healthy and 58% of caregivers find that their exercise habits have declined since they began caregiving.  Caregivers may find themselves becoming depressed:  watching your beloved Mother become old and sick breaks your heart.  The extreme stress of caregiving can shorten a caregiver’s life by 10 years.  What can caregivers and their families do to better cope?  More statistics about caregiving can be found at National Family Caregivers Association at http://www.nfcacares.org/who_are_family_caregivers/care_giving_statstics.cfm