#7 of 7 Powerful Habits for Happy Relationships

"7. Focus on solutions, instead of arguing on and on.

Just like in your own personal life, getting stuck in thinking too much about whys and what ifs can be quite destructive. Such thoughts going around in circles rarely leads to much except making issues bigger and scarier than they actually are and to feeling paralyzed or unnecessarily angry or irritated.

So be assertive instead. If there is an issue then communicate what the two of you are thinking instead of assuming or trying to mindread each other.

Find understanding by truly listening to what you hear and by trying to see things from the other person’s viewpoint by asking yourself:

How would I see this situation we are in if I were in his or her shoes?

Then focus on solutions together. Yes, one of you – or the both of you – may have made a mistake but it has already been done and you don’t have a time-machine. So don’t focus on replaying it in your mind over and over or on arguing about it for too long.

Try to move on to focusing on finding and taking action on a solution together. Instead of getting stuck in inaction on separate flanks.

Ask yourselves:

• How can we solve this?
• What is one small and practical step we can take today to move forward with this solution?

Focus on what WE can do. Instead of focusing all your energy and thoughts on ME vs YOU and turning a beginning conflict into a fight that benefits no-one really.

It will help both you and the other person and your relationship."

 Readers, I hope you have enjoyed the wisdom of The Positivity Blog writer Henrik Edberg.  For more writing by Henrik, check out The Positivity blog at http://www.positivityblog.com/

 

#6 of 7 Powerful Habits for Happy Relationships from Positivity blogger

"6. Have human standards.

I often mention that one of the best ways to stop being a perfectionist and to be happier is to set human standards yourself. Instead of inhuman standards that no-one can live up to really.

This is a good tip for finding more happiness with other people too.

Having perfectionistic standards for your partner, friend or co-worker can lead to a lot of conflicts that could have been prevented. It can even over time lead to the end of a relationship.

People will stumble and make mistakes. They will not always have a good day or perform at their absolute best. They will have flaws.

Sure, some things may need to change in the other person for you to keep being in the relationship. And some missteps could of course lead to the end of the two of you.

But many things that are smaller than that and that can cause irritation or arguments pretty much every week can be greatly reduced with everyone in your life simply by having human standards both for yourself and for others.

And over time, it can make a big difference in how relaxed, open and happy a relationship can be."

#5 of 7 Powerful Habits for Happy Relationships from Positivity Blog

 Today I share #5 habit for happy relationships from blogger Henrik Edberg (Positivity blog).

"5. Mix things up.      

Taking each other for granted or winding up in a repetitive rut can in many relationships lead to boredom or to things not feeling as exciting as they used to. Just relaxing and doing the same old things you always do don’t take much effort. But it can erode the relationship.

So make sure to mix things up. And to try new things once in a while. Do not just go outside of your comfort zone in your own time. Do it when you spend time with a partner or a friend too.

Try a new sport, hobby or restaurant. Go to an event that sounds intriguing and like something new. Go away for a weekend to some place you wouldn’t expect the two of you to go."

Happy Veterans' Day

Today is Veterans Day

I want to thank all our veterans and active service men and women who work to keep us safe.  We have several former military people in my family (including my husband) and circle of friends.  I appreciate their sacrifice and service.  Thank you. 

#4 of 7 Powerful Habits for Happy Relationships from Positivity Blog

Readers, I hope you are enjoying the wisdom of blogger Henrik Edberg (Positivity blog) as much as I do.  

"4. Remember to give the small gifts of kindness.

It is easy to forget about the small gifts of kindness in the stressed and busy everyday life.

But such a small gift can mean so much. It does matter.

Just take a minute or 30 seconds to express your genuine appreciation or gratitude for something that someone in your life does well. You’ll brighten his or her day or week.

Or leave a small and sweet note for your partner or child in a boot, hat, tea-container, underneath the pillow or in a book he or she is reading. It is a very simple and small thing but it in my experience it always brings a big smile to the recipient’s face.

And sometimes a simple and genuine thank you can have a bigger impact than you may realize."