#3 of 7 Powerful Habits for Happy Relationships from Positivity Blog

I continue to share 7 Powerful Habits for Happy Relationships from Henrik Edberg (the Positivity Blog)  

"3. Be assertive.

Being assertive, being able to ask for what you want and to say no to what you do not want in your life will not only boost your own self-esteem. It also tends to make other people respect you more and it helps you to form healthier and happier relationships.

So how can you become more assertive?

• Improve your self-esteem. When you improve your self-esteem then a wonderful thing happens. You start to feel more deserving of good or great things in your life. And so you will start to ask for them because you believe it is natural for you to deserve them (other people may of course say no to some of those things and that is their right). And you’ll start staying no to things or behavior both from yourself and others that you do not think you deserve anymore.
• Focus on communicating clearly. Ask for what you want or for what is on the other person’s mind. Use your words. Don’t try to mindread someone else. And don’t expect other people to be able to do such a thing to you either. It is not their responsibility to know what you need in some magical way. It is your responsibility to communicate what you want or need. Just like it is for any other person.
• Start small. If it feels scary to ask for something big or to say no to something very important then start smaller. Say no or ask for something very small. Then work yourself up towards bigger and bigger things."

# 2 of 7 Powerful Habits for Happy Relationships from Positivity Blog

Last time I began sharing insightful information from the Positivity Blog (Henrik Edberg) I enjoy his blog and (with his permission) share #2 of 7 Powerful Habits for Happy Relationships 

"2. Truly listen.      

Everyone wants to feel like they are being understood.

So when you listen, don’t just wait for your turn to talk. And don’t keep your mind half-occupied with some other issue or plans for tonight.

When you listen, truly be there. With your full attention.

Two things that have helped me to become a better listener are:

• Fully focus outward. Focus on just what is happening in front of you with your senses. Listen carefully to the other person’s voice and the tone of it, the emotions expressed in the eyes and in how he or she uses his or her body. You may still miss things but forgetting about yourself and your troubles or ideas for a while is good starting point to be really engaged and receptive to what the other person is trying to get across.
• Tell yourself you will tell someone else about this conversation later on. Then you’ll be more alert and what is said in the conversation simply seems to stick better in my experience. Plus, curiosity and trying to truly understand by asking follow-up questions tends to come naturally."

7 Powerful Habits for Happy Relationships from Positivity Blog

I “follow” the Positivity Blog.  I recently read and enjoyed Henrik’s “7 Powerful Habits for Happy Relationships.”  He gave permission to share so I will do so over the next few posts.  If you don’t “follow” Henrik’s blog, I recommend it.  

“Happiness in life can come from many things.

From how meaningful you find your work to be. From a hobby you can get lost in for hours. Or from just being with the natural world around you and appreciating the light rain and slowly falling leaves of autumn.

A big part of the happiness also comes from the relationships in our lives. And from how we cultivate them and let them grow.

1. Treat other people as you would like to be treated.      

The most basic guideline of relationships is that how you treat someone is how that person is likely to treat you too in the long run.

If you are kind and helpful they will tend to be kind and helpful to you. If you never really listen or are judgmental then you are likely to get that in return.

There will of course be exceptions. Some people will not reciprocate and treat you well even if you treat them well. And you may not get back what you give right away.

But in the long run and in most cases things tend to even out.

Just don’t make the mistake of waiting for everyone else to make a change or to take the first step. Instead, be proactive. Be the one to take the first few steps to build the relationships you want to live in and to start giving what you want to get."

Readers, check back for another portion of Henrik's 7 Powerful Habits for Happy Relationships.  If you don't follow The Positivity Blog, check out http://www.positivityblog.com/

 

In the News--flu shot may decrease risk of stroke and heart attack

A study published in the JAMA (Journal of Medical Association) reported that people who have the flu shot are less likely to have a cardiovascular event.  Let me give an example.  Last year when we were on our Alaska trip, I came down with a respiratory virus.  Before I returned home, the symptoms of stuffy, runny nose, sore throat and sneezing had turned into bronchitis and I could not stop coughing.  I am certain all that coughing was a strain on my body.  I remember my ribs and chest muscles were sore from the coughing. What if I had been a person with a bad heart condition or high blood pressure?  I might have had a stroke or a heart attack.  That’s what this study found.  People with pre-existing heart disease, high blood pressure, etc face an increased risk of a cardiovascular event when they catch the flu with its symptoms of sneezing and coughing, etc.  This article can be found at http://www.foxnews.com/health/2013/10/22/flu-shot-may-decrease-risk-heart-attack-and-stroke/